I call them “incels” only because that’s how they identity themselves, it’s not a pejorative term I’m imposing on them. That’s the word they use to describe their own community, so I’m going to refer to them using that word to communicate clearly with my audience about who I’m talking about. I’m not aware of any other more polite term they use to describe the incel community, are you? It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but I think the word incel is toxic in itself. But I’m not familiar with any precise synonym, so I have to use the term in order to talk about the phenomenon. No need to get offended over nothing